“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough” ― Oprah Winfrey
I remember my mother saying you are the company you keep. I read a wealth building blog about this very subject. In it yesterday he was talking about how your income reflects the people you spend the most time with, and I agree with this completely.
I tend to have a small number of friends, even though I am an ENFP. I am very careful with those that are not reflecting what I am trying to focus on in my own life. I have not always been conscious of this, but downshifting my life allowed for reflection.
I have read so many blogs and books about how to work from home with your kids, but the one thing that is missing will determine if you fail or succeed. It is that you have to live most of your life in what I like to call Your Happy Place. It is a real place, and once you arrive there you will feel like you are home.
I am a firm believer in earning more, not suffering in frugality, but if you do not honor what you have, you will not make more of it. Ramit Sethi’s brutal honesty in this area is his greatest strength. If you want to earn money from home, this is one person that you should be reading.
It is a reality check and only you can do it. I remember years ago reading somewhere when Oprah explained even when she had no money she and her home looked impeccable. Her knock off scarves and clothing made her look like a million bucks even if it was in a ten dollar scarf.
I know a woman like this, she actually was on a committee that gave me my a job at a church when I was five months pregnant with twins. She and her husband were the town wealthy, he was a former state rep and owned several local and international businesses. She was a former health care professional, mother, professional angler (yes, interesting woman), mother, grandmother, and I never knew it.
I knew this woman as a volunteer for a church that I worked for for more than six months, but I never knew about their monetary wealth. Her daughter who became a lifelong friend of mine, brought me a meal when the boys were two months old. Our house was on the market, and I was in this crazy fog of denial that I had to move and had nothing boxed up.
We ended up renting a home from them on their family street (yes, it was named after them, and the one that was adjacent to it). I did not know of the family financial wealth until we rented a home from them, but I saw their true riches before that.
We lived at the end of the street in a small, but beautifully remodeled home that her brother had vacated with his family. They had never rented to anyone who was not family, and never did as they treated us as if we were indeed family.
It was not until reflection later that all the lessons I learned emerged. The matriarch that I met initially always looked like a million bucks, whether she was wearing exercise clothes from Walmart or a beautiful suit at church. She was unassuming, wealthy, kind, and a genuine loving person. They owned a ranch home with acreage all around, shared their home with anyone in need even taking in people they did not know who needed a place to stay during cancer treatments at the local research hospital. They traveled often, him for international business, and her to Panama for fishing.
Their daughter who I consider to be a role model for what passionate motherhood looks like, is my friend and I am better for this friendship. She is so strong in her convictions in regard to homeschooling her children, giving to the community, and just being a source of inspiration everyday that she gives off a special energy. I hope you all are able to have a friend like this in your life. Her husband and daughters adore her, and she them.
I tell you this story, because I did not see the lessons while I was in it. I needed to do an inventory, to reflect, to clear out the clutter in my way of living a life that is worthy of inspiring others. Before you can start any kind of business, homeschool your kids, or add anything else to your plate, you have to do an audit.Are you living in your Happy Place, or some distant neighborhood?
Only now do I understand why my friend was always giving away things to charity, and keeping things so put together, clean yes, but orderly too.
It is a house that if I called her today, and said I was 15 minutes down the road, she would say “come-on” get over here. She would not run around freaking out that her house was a wreck, because it is not. It is not going to be perfect like walking into the Stepford house, but warm and inviting. Could you have a surprise visit and not go into a full blown panic attack? I know before this process I could not, but I came out the other side and the amount of energy I get back from my house now is amazing.
So, here is your challenge to think like a Happy Place Auditor today. Take a good long look. Before you add one more thing to your plate, purchase one more direct sales kit, buy one more course, it is time to get strategic about what takes up your time in the first place.
Hiring a housekeeper won’t do it. You have to do it yourself. At the very least, assess it all yourself and hire out the work if you have to. Once you access by all means ask for help if you need it.
I did not get why my friend had such focus in this area, but it was part of her life categories. An area that was important to her, and she clearly knew her reasons. All I saw was housework and that is not on my top ten list. I wanted to contribute and feel significant. Crazy, huh? Ever felt that way and then feel guilty afterwards because you know that being a mother is one the most significant things you can be in life?
Here is the problem with a chaotic house, full of crap. Yes, I said it crap! It robs you of energy and perspective. How you see your life defines it. If you see it as a beautiful mess, or one more thing you have to overcome, you will have two very different outcomes.
Let’s tackle this beautiful mess one area at a time, and then you can start that business or start defining your idea work. You do not need to hire a professional organizer, just start with what you see when you first open your front door. Is it inviting? Clean? It is as simple as touring your own home, but with a very different agenda.
Getting clear on who you are now and what you want in this life is the first step to finding your happy place. Clearing clutter from your path to your Happy Place is the first step to a happy life.