Is Downsizing a Psychological Process

We started this process from a financial need, and gained time, more patience with each other, and just more fun, but this is not the first time we tried downsizing. We did not call it that then, but we moved out of a much too expensive home about a year after we started trying to get pregnant. The cost of fertility treatments was so high, there was no way to pay for both and that was a priority to us. What is interesting is that we had moved to this suburban family neighborhood south of Houston when we relocated from Dallas. Once we were planning to get married, we just went with the move to the suburb mentality. In Dallas we had lived in an urban neighborhood within walking distance to restaurants. It had the old house charm on every corner, and I really loved that neighborhood. Coffee shops close by, neighbors to chat with on walks with the dogs.

I had an idea that fertility treatments would be required for us to be successful. I was in my late 30s and my oldest sister had been through several rounds of IVF in the 90s. This was when they still called it test tube babies, and they name of the clinic was not even on the door. It was like a really great bar that you only know about it you are cool. The cost of fertility treatments was unbelievable when you consider the least expensive options cost $5000 to try and the most expensive US cycle we tried was over $14,000. We moved to another suburban city to get closer to my husbands work, and did save money on rent, but in hindsight a little personal psychological inventory would have saved us much more time and money.

J's drawing of the green house with white picket fence and happy sun.
J’s drawing of the green house with white picket fence and happy sun.

Now, more than 7 years later, we have downsized again, but this time we are getting smarter about it. We made the first bold step of reducing our monthly living expenses, which has had a profound effect. Next we downsized our daily tasks required to keep up with this new lifestyle i.e. yard work gone, smaller house to clean, less stuff to organize. As we have downsized, it leaves more time and space for reflection. I have always been interested in psychology, even entertained briefly the idea of getting a masters in counseling for a career change. Brief like, overnight! (This is a discussion for another day.)

Understanding why we make decisions is one of the most important things we can learn about ourselves. One particular course I was able to take part in was from Tony Robbins. It was led by Cloe Madanes of the RMT Center, and is available as free introductory training content. It is called Life Zone Training.It is simple and powerful. Through a series of questions you ask yourself, you identify the areas of your life that have the most importance to you. What is interesting is that I had several priority areas that I was not doing anything about. Much of that was due to my level of distraction throughout the day that lack of money and worry can bring. There were things for me like, daily yoga practice that I had not done since I was trying to get pregnant many years before. Homeschooling the boys was on the list, but I had not taken the steps to make that happen in a structured way, which as it turns out is unschooling and it works. This is to say that a personal inventory of your wants and needs is really important as you consider downsizing, especially if you have or want children. There will be so many things competing for your time, it is necessary to get really focused on what is important to you right now.

Take Care – Kathy

P.s. This is what is on my mind for my next post – stay tuned…

“It had the old house charm on every corner, and I really loved that neighborhood.”This last statement is important. I am an ENFP. Click here to find out what type you are for FREE. As I have been learning more about myself, I am intrigued about why we live where we do. I am learning more about personality type, and through that I am wondering out loud today to see how to apply personality type to our plan going forward. How do you keep from making a mistake about where to live so you and your family can live your best life and be your best self?



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